garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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