I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
