I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
