I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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