I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
