tell your sister to shave her snatch
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
