I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
