I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
