i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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