Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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