So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
