watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
