I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize