So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
