he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
