I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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