This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
