Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
