And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
North Korea, Best Korea!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Randomize
