he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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