I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
