You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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