He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
