clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
