dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
