Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize