I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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