Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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