Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize