i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
