the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
