would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
