He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
