So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No subtext here. People are naked.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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