I wish I could punch you in the face.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
