Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
