if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
