No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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