do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize