Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
