i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
