I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The air taste purple.
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