i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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