I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
