Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
