i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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