Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
