think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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