at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
