I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
