Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid

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(650): View more from California

Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.

Fav 8 3339 1038
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(316): View more from Kansas

I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.

(1-316): View more from Kansas

That's how you know you deserve to be a senior

Fav 13 4999 1126
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(509): View more from Washington

i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it

Fav 29 7315 1616
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(256): View more from Alabama

He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.

Fav 9 1005 2436
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat

Fav 8 3361 1242
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(336): View more from North Carolina

You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch

Fav 3 2696 955
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.

Fav 0 51 39
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.

Fav 0 22 14
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