I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
