There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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