their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just fell off a train. Bad.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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