butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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