My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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