She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
