Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
