I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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