i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize