Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
