Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize