Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
