I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
