man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize