Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i barfeds in our rink
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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