never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
